Gender roles – are they Biblical?
There has been a lot of discussion
(and even debate) in recent years within the Church as to what Scriptures has
to say about there being different roles for men & women (i.e. should women
be pastors, etc.). The most important
implication of this is in the arena of marriage.
I believe men & women are given
roles in a marriage by God and we can find this in Scripture, much the same way there are
different roles within the church (Eph. 4:11 – we are not all pastors, for example). Discussing gender roles will inevitably bring
up the question of “submission”, but it
is important to understand the Biblical meaning of the concept of submission
because I think many Christians misunderstand it. Scripture explains submission
it two main passages: Eph. 5:15-21, its parallel passage in Colossians 3. In
Ephesians 5 we read: “22 Wives, submit to your own
husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the
husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church,
his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as
the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to
their husbands.” (Ephesians 5:22-24). A
Christian marriage is a living picture/analogy of the gospel. In this analogy, the women/bride represents
the church, and the man represents Christ.
We see this as Paul continues in verse 25: “Husbands, love your wives,
as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” Husbands are supposed to love their wives in the same way Christ loved the church,
by sacrificially giving of his life.
Back to biblically prescribed roles for men & women: biblical
submission is exactly that – a matter of roles, NOT a matter of a women being
below or substandard to a man in any way!
We see this in the way the members of the Trinity interact with each
other. The Son submits to the will of
the Father (John 5:30 & John 12:49 for example. There are many more
examples of this in John) & the Spirit submits to the Son & the Father
(as a matter of role – John 14:26, John 15:26 for example). But no trinitarian believing Christian would
ever say that the Son is “below” the Father, or that the Spirit is “below” the
Son, but rather that each member of the Trinity is equally God. So you see, the biblical meaning of submission
is never meant to be a “lord it over you” type of authority. But the man is given the role of being the
head of the house (to lead spiritually, mostly) and the woman is to submit, but
they are both equal. This is similar to
the way we are called to submit to the elders of our church (different roles
within the Body. We are not below our
elders, but we are called to submit the authority God has given them).
I've recently talked to someone who
said, “Well I’m really, against this idea of ‘patriarchy’ where whatever the
husband says, goes.” Well, I think
that’s fine, because that doesn't fit the biblical idea of submission. Surely if any husband is loving his wife the
way Christ loves the church (by giving His life for the church), then a
Christian wife (who is being led by the Holy Spirit) would be more inclined to
follow the decisions he makes. However,
if the husband fails at his Christian responsibility (once, or many times) it
does not absolve the wife from what Scripture calls her to do as a Christian
wife (and conversely, if the wife fails, it does not absolve the husband of his
responsibility). That’s part of living
according to the Gospel (similar to what Paul says in Phil. 1:27). It’s realizing that our spouse is a sinner
saved by grace (if we are both Christians), and that Christian marriage is a
picture of the Gospel. Christians need to remember that our own
personal agenda doesn’t matter, we submit to each other, but only as we
ultimately submit to what God wants for us. To put it simply your desire
doesn’t matter, God’s desire does. Some
Christian don’t want to adhere to this plain teaching of Scripture and may say
something like, “Well that may be how your marriage works, but it doesn’t work
like that in our marriage,” or, “I don’t think it should be a prescription for
every marriage.” But the biblical
concept of submission, if rightly understood is a blessing and a picture of the
Gospel. And yes, it is a prescription for every
marriage for the husband to lead…at least every Christian one, according to
Scripture.
For more on this topic, I suggest the Christian Family series by
Alastair Begg. It’s based off of the Colossians 3 passage. You should be able to find it here: http://www.truthforlife.org/resources/series/the-christian-family/
